what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Watching her eat just hurts me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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