Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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