Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
