Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
