what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
