so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
false alarm, still single
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize