ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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