Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
