Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
