Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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