Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
