i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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