I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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