let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
