somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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