i used baking grease as lip gloss
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize