worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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