Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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