are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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