is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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