Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He shit in the fireplace
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize