we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
