exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They have beer where we have blood.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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