so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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