im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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