He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
