Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
