Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize