the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
