dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
