ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it hurts more in the daytime
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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