it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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