The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So apparently I’m into choking now
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