I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
