AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
