Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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