i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
