You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
