my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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