You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
