Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
