I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he fucked my hip out of place.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
