new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize