Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet

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  (646): it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet http://tfl.nu/1rea
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (811)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1231) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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  (585): He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings. http://tfl.nu/entr
  Replies (15) Good night (833) Bad night (2866)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...

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  (515): So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated... http://tfl.nu/hpsb
  Replies (15) Good night (1182) Bad night (4651)
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  (559): View more from California

  i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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  (559): i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat. http://tfl.nu/jbsx
  Replies (62) Good night (9836) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

  (646): View more from New York

  Lmao what?

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's a yes or no question.

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  (917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0
  Replies (20) Good night (5107) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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  (206): She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy. http://tfl.nu/ixzo
  Replies (35) Good night (704) Bad night (7032)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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  (608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss
  Replies (13) Good night (3537) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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  (720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb
  Replies (20) Good night (8101) Bad night (1978)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (3224)
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  (619): View more from California

  the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting

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  (619): the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting http://tfl.nu/ov15
  Replies (9) Good night (1426) Bad night (773)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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  (603): to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald. http://tfl.nu/pb1j
  Replies (4) Good night (2238) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me

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  (347): Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me http://tfl.nu/axou
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm on the struggle bus

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers

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  (847): I'm on the struggle bus (847): just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers http://tfl.nu/5dpp
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

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  (267): I have tan lines from my nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/n8t0
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (278)

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