Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Da na na, na na naa

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  (571): I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background (202): Da na na, na na naa http://tfl.nu/9l4t
  Replies (35) Good night (3803) Bad night (594)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4749) Bad night (670)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3497) Bad night (1379)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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  (407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy
  Replies (18) Good night (9687) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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  (210): she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate? http://tfl.nu/d0z4
  Replies (19) Good night (4677) Bad night (2330)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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  (860): I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job http://tfl.nu/ok5l
  Replies (26) Good night (1192) Bad night (5302)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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  (903): He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/h56s
  Replies (8) Good night (5517) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.

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  (240): She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text. http://tfl.nu/g6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (2246)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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  (617): I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B. http://tfl.nu/c1l3
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (2887)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is

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  (804): Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is http://tfl.nu/zc14
  Replies (2) Good night (1295) Bad night (564)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.

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  (+61): I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken. http://tfl.nu/mq32
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (774)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

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  (603): Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride. http://tfl.nu/at65
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.

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  (352): I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father. http://tfl.nu/ymcy
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (905)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.

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  (717): The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment. http://tfl.nu/qpzk
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.

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  (775): Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/3l8e
  Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (243)

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