i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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