At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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