Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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