Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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