I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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