thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
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I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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