They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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