He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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