Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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