No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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