i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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