You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
