awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
