I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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