I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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