Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
