Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize