I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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