at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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