Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
