I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
