Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
