Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
