hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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