Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
