Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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